ALLOW ME TO INTRODUCE MYSELF
Behind my Super Mediocre persona lies a mere mortal writer. I give YA F’s (keep it PG guys) Fiction, Fantasy & Funny!
Author
noun, au·thor | \ ˈȯ-thər

I'M/I'D/I'LL
I’m a sunshine mixed with a little hurricane.
I’d beat you in a game of air hockey.
I’ll never grow up.

I EAT
Pizza- it’s always been you. In a hundred lifetimes, in every version of reality. I Choose you!

I'D RATHER BE
drawing.

I SMILE
when Juventus plays/wins (when their beautiful faces grace across my eyes- my heart flutters) & Yeah Futbol too!

I DANCE
Quite horridly, but that doesn’t stop me.

HERO TO SOME, VILLIAN TO OTHERS
Either way, I’m packing some super mediocre seemingly insurmountable powers.
SKILLS
Pronounced “skills” or “5k1LLz”
Disclaimer: said skills it seems, does not pay the bills

SINGING
I silently sing the alphabet song, in my head everytime I have to alphabetize something.

PARALLEL PARKING
When I said I parked 8 blocks away to get my steps in, what I meant was I can’t park for shit.

LACES
I can only tie my shoes using the bunny ear method.

SILENT WHISTLE
Just put your lips together and blow, they said. I think I perfected the dog whistle instead.

IRONING
Ironed the shirt for 20 minutes, still looks like a crumpled mess.

DIRECTIONS
Must hold both hands in the shape of an “L” to decipher left and right.
ATTRIBUTES
Waggish, efficacious, indefatigable, demiurgic, convivial. Reader of (the) Thesaurus

MARVEL-OUS
People marvel at me, wondering how I made it this far in life.

Motto
Analogue from birth, digital by design.

MULTI-LINGUISTIC
Curses in 5 languages
Fluent in 1337 5p34k :”1t’s r(_)d1m3nt4ry my d34r w4ts0n”

REGENERATION
Every breath we take has been breathed before.

LUCK-Y
A.K.A the absence of skill
Ex: If it wasn’t for bad luck, I’d have no luck at all.

DEFENSE MECHANISM
Sarcasm.
FACTS
Where opinions take up residence. Emboldened & indisputably true

FACT 1
Justin, I did my part in bringing sexy back

FACT 4
Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia is a really long word. Plot twist its also the fear of really long words.

FACT 7
I can draw a crooked line with a ruler.

FACT 2
Humanity, it means your faith is so strong you look both ways before crossing a one way street.

FACT 5
I’m probably going to make up some testimonials.

FACT 8
I am proud of myself when my $92 DIY comes out semi-resembling the $17 original version, that was not worth buying.

FACT 3
Gratefulness is humbling. Thankful I don’t have to hunt for my food. Where does pizza live?

FACT 6
Tripping over nothing and choking on air- are real things

FACT 9
I want to hulk out when the computer asks me if I’m a robot? No you technological piece of garbage, you ARE the robot.

Michelle Picariello © 2020 Site by Rebel Souls